Are you even a human?What makes you call yourself human?After begging me and said sorry last 5 months and became someone evil back now,do you even deserve to be alive?Been complaining of all the hardworks that you have to go through,while me,have I ever complained?Complained about all the pains and bruises I had when I let my guards down to love you,have I ever said to you that people been throwing,kicking me out of their life because they couldn't accept the fact that I'm with you?Have you ever had a thought that I've been longing for your presence for so long ever since the possession happened, I've been lied for the rest of my life by my own best friend you wouldn't come back,I've been waiting patiently to see your message popped out of my phone screen,but it never did.I was trapped within my own soul and don't know what happened and why are you throwing all the rages on me,as if I want that to happen,am I that bad to you,am I?Is it fun to make someone misses you so badly and confused her whether you still loved her or not?I was dumb,I was fool,I knew,I get fooled by my own best friend,she's the one who destroyed us,but I don't know that.I never asked her to pull you inside this revenge idea.If I can go back to the past,I will ask her not to pull u inside this problem.This year,we're in the same situation again,and I was fooled again.But this time,I was really hurt with your words,it's been on my mind ever since I woke up from the deep sleep after being wounded for 3 weeks after the last school holidays,I thought you knew that the person who's been messing up with you that time was her,but not me.I was wounded and was in deep sleep for  almost a month,and you thought I was the one who annoyed you with all the messages.Your actions satisfied her but not me,your words,actions hurt me,and it hurts every single time.She won in life,but I lose to her,I wouldn't mind lose the game but I can't accept the fact you chose to hate me without even thinking the one who ask for break,the one who annoyed you was my friend,not me.It wasn't me,I won't leave you as I promised you before I'll always be with you.But I don't know,if you still hold to the promise,but honestly I hope that you will.

part two

Few days later,PBSM was organizing a camp with other school PSBSM members and also scouts.Well,I would love to go,so I just register my name right after the announcement was made.Guess what,I met Daniel.Well,it wasn't the first time actually,I met him once when I was small,he is a year older than me and he is very tall,too tall for a Malay guy.It wasn't really love at first sight in my opinion,but he said it is,okaylah maybe he fell in love with my eyes or nose or whatever,but I fell in love with his awkwardness.Somehow I am in the weird side,I love guys who are awkwardly romantic,childish and never try so hard to be mature.Though Daniel's looks is quite good(to me),I swear I fell in love with his attitude.I don't think I have to tell the whole freaking chapter about him,you guys know who he is.Wan Daniel Shazreel Aiman Laurent,a Malay-Caucasian 17 year old guy who is a goalkeeper,he is still the eye candy for the girls now,I remembered how much I annoyed when girls staring at him while we were together,I feel like wanting to go to her and stab her eyes with the fork,damn my jealousy level were on the apex level sia wkwkwkwk ������ anyway g2g sleep and have my lucid dreams,ciao

A 5-year long story part one

2011,a girl boarded an airplane,alone at KLIA,waiting patiently for her cousin to pick her up.An empty soul that just faced a hard breakup with her first love,thought the 3-years long love story would last long forever,but it failed,it stops in the middle of the journey. Well,coming back to Malaysia, where I should belong is the best choice(I think) to continue my life.The day after I arrived,it's the first day of school.GDI,I wasn't ready for any shizz yet but then it was the first day of school.WHAT A LIFE,but still have to go to school.My cousin is one of the high positioned prefect, if I didn't come to school on first day,he surely gonna use his power to make me go to school.I am in the Finnix class,hmm to me it sounds very IT-ish ngehehehe,well let me correct it,the name of the class sounds so IT-ish but the students are just like a troop of monkeys in a zoo.I sat beside a girl,she was quite tall,oh wait no,she's tall(eh come on Sha,dh pendek buat cara pendek please)yea yea,she's tall and her name is... HJH.
The class condition is phenomenal,I have to say it was one of the best class ever,I barely even have the hard times in there,things just go on smoothly,I got to join lots of things that suit my interests,and also my class is a anime hardcore class.Yas Baby Yas, anime hardcore means we had anime&gamer cosplayers,mangakas',gamers and so on,and since my cousin is the founder of RYU NATION,we all are the cosplayers and gamers under RYU NATION,the best Japanese Culture nation in Malaysia right now(bangga sikit)ngehehehe.Well that's all for now,wait for the part 2,it's amazing

12 March 2015,he went to sleep and around 5:30 am,I went to his room to wake him up for Subuh prayer,but then he went asleep forever.Muhammad Aniq Shahril Cheah,I miss you so much.Today is the second day I lived without ur presence,things were hard,we all miss you so much,it feels like it's just yesterday I got a call from you when you said you got straight A+,it feels like it's just yesterday we were in your engagement event.You told me once that you really missed Dillon and now you're gone too,just like late Dillon.You're the best brother for me,although not many people are okay with you,people don't know the real you,that's why they keep creating bad rumours about you.I really had no one now,Ma and Abah miss you so much,they cried when their BIG son is no longer with them,I guess my life will be much harder now,I had to live on my own,but it's fine,we still gonna meet each other one day,and I'm waiting for that day.Now,I had no one to watch football game with,to play Just Dance game,to help me with the unsolved relationship problems,to fight with,to deal with my cravings and so much more.I wish on the last day I talked to you,I wouldn't be mad at you,instead I will say how thankful I am to have a cousin like you.But at least,I know the truth before you gone.I won't be coming home till this end of year,home is hell to me,I'll just stay in Labuan and will do some duty to gain money.That's all for now,I miss you so much abang.

Damn,this blog was abandoned for a long time ago,decades and centuries ago I can't even remember when was the last time I was writing my life story here,GOD DAMN IT!Well yea,this year sucks,totally sucks,I wasn't in a good mood after all this surgery things,and put yourself in my shoes where you had to chop off your precious long hair that is with you through thick and thin,it's just such a sad moment of life,Meh don't care about it already,who cares if I am as ugly as a faggot now,I don't even have to impress someone anyway.So I CAN BE UGLY AS MUCH AS I WANT TO BE,yea I will do that if my relationship is over,well that's it for the so called a releasing ketidakpuashati-time for now Sha,let's snuggle with Pororo,ciao people.

P/S:I won't be active with my old Twitter acc for a long time,I just had to solve something, I'll deactivate back so yea as I told you guys 2 years ago,I won't be back